Yeah… we have internet !!
Delhi belly ranking system.
Mike Hemingway = DAY 1…. hahahaha total wimp, fun to watch though.
Mike Gibson = Day 6, a suitable attempt to run the distance, but is now running in a different way. Currently holed up in a 5 star hotel shivering like a girly wuss.
Matt Ramsden = Hardcore to the end still plugged up… laughing all the way.
Underpant endurance race.
Mike Hemingway = 4 days.
Mike Gibson = 3 days
Matt Ramsden = 4 days.
Ok, we have so much to write.
From the beginning things were hectic and pretty much barking mad.
We all met at the launch line and we were seen off my some dude with a megaphone that we couldn’t understand, i am sure he was important and all that, but we had far more important stuff to do like sabotage other rickshaws and strap our manhoods in ready for the bone jarring ride ahead of us.
We were told we would have a police escort out of the city, but less than 500 yds from the start we (and many others) had lost all sight of the rozzers and were truly on our own.
Launching ourselves at the foothills of the Himalaya’s, we soon found out what was meant by ” fuel shortage” as we saw mile after mile of queues for what little petrol was available. Of course we totally ignored all the signs and giggled all the way to the top of every hill we could find.
Matt was giggling so much and running in and out of different rickshaws he ended up getting left behind, and lost his sunglass’s and baseball cap, so now he’s both sunblind and his bald patch is red raw.
Some 120kms later we were knackered and reality had set in, and it was getting dark so stopped. After working out we would not survive nepal in the fuel shortage we decided to get out ASAP, and proceed to try and buy black market petrol from a guy that turned out to be the mayor of the town we were staying in.
Day 2
Waking up at 6am (yes there are two in the day i now have discovered) we set off for the border.
Playing the good samaritians we helped the first casualties of the run, where team Karma Chameleon had ragged their engine t maximum for too long and shot the piston through the engie. A little push was enough before we sped off laughing away.
The Indian/Nepalese border is chaos at its finest, but bludgeoning your way through, driving on the pavement and smiling sweetly at anyone who comments seems to work well we find. It has now been discovered that all Indians will respond to the name Jim or JimBob. A suitable charm offensive gets us through the checkpoint asap, and we are on our way.
Stayed in some cockroach infested crap-hole on a busy main street with earplugs firmly in place so get some sleep. One other team in the same hotel went to the on suit in the middle of the night to find some guy had crawled through the window and was sleeping the their bathroom (if thats what u can call it)
Day 3
having never seen elephants in a petrol station before it came as some surprise to see three just sat waiting for us to scream to a halt and jump out the tuc tuc and climb on board. A fleeting race around the forecourt and we were back on route.
Going to the holy city of Varanassi, where we got to at 5pm, and promptly went down to the ganges river and had a tour of the funeral pyres and temples. This was by far the most densly compacted area we have been to so far, and witnessing rush hour (or lack of) was something to behold.
With our taxi driver hitting a sacred cow in the middle of the road, we swiftly got out of their before we were linched.
Day 4
Bloody hell 43 degrees is hot !!
Today we had our first taste of dual carriageway driving, which is another unique one. basically those crazy injins’ like the idea of having 4 lanes they can do what the hell they want with, and you will find huge trucks hurtling at you that will it move. Ditching the tuc tuc on many occasions into the dirt, we gained good ground and got to the holy budda temple of Boda gaya.
On route we hit our first taste of monsoon weather, with a sandstorm swallowing us up and then the rain with thunder and a spectacular lightening storm.
We also got our first taste of real off-roading, with both Matt and Mike G giggling and whooping like schoolgirls, but Mike H wimping in the back muttering something about wishbones and springs… whatever they are!!
Day 5
Bandit country….having planned the route before reading the lonely planet ( quote – the most lawless place in india, to be avoided unless guided) and the local newspapers we didn’t realise (or care) how bad it was till we were deep into injin’ country. With no other bugger on the road we soon became very wary of anything that looked dodgy and cruised along. 120kms on the worst road yet, knackered and literally bruised we stopped for lunch, only to have a jeep full of gun wielding fellas scream up behind us and jump out. Shitting ourselves now, we soon worked out it was the local army captain and his crew of have-a-go- hero’s out for the daily “bandido run” and had noticed two odd looking tuc tucs and wanted to provide us with a secured escort. We gratefully accepted, and he took us somewhere very nice to eat and joined us.
Today was also the day that Mike G got the runs, and spent all day shivering and said about 5 words in total. he was so bad it was decided he was willing to pay for a 5 star hotel to recoup…. now uncool is that. Dont worry though, the big ginger lummux will not get away with it that easy as much piss taking will be had at his expense.
More updates as and when we can… stay tuned.
Mike you pussy!!! I thought you would be the last one to go down with Deli Beli!!! Get a grip man!
Nice to see you pulled, didn’t realise you liked your females quite so large!
Enjoy….
See you soon, take care.
Jo
x
Matt, if I remember rightly Mike bragged that he would be the one that didn’t get ill and that it would be the lighter member of the team that would!!!! Go take the piss…..
Jo, Piss already tkaen many times over…. oh… and by the way… I HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT !!!!!!